Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Confronting What You Fear

I spent a bunch of time this evening cleaning out my e-mail account.  I went from 1,432 e-mails to 926 e-mails.  Alas, it would seem that I'm as bad in the E-World as I am in the "Real World" at cleaning out my closets!  Maybe by the end of the week I can get down to 500 or so.....

Anyways, I took a break from this no-fun task and spent the last 30 minutes or so just thinking about how I feel about IMLT....here is where I came out:

- This course really concerns me.  Not the swim nor the run--even though if you know me, you would think that would be where I should have concern.  But its the bike--not the climbs but the fast descents....I'm a wimp on this and I'll have a hard time getting my concern about this out of my mind until I finally hit the flats after Dollar Hill the third time around 100 miles into the ride...

- That said, I've consciously and with a lot of fanfare chosen a path with my life to periodically put myself into a place that is physically uncomfortable, that causes me some fear and entails some risk--IMLT it is now clear is definitely one of these things.

-I know many others in this race and not in this race will look down on this fear I have of going fast downhill on the bike but I'm fine with that

-I'm going to leave my ego at the door and race MY RACE.  This will, because of my timidity, include some pretty conservative descending on the 7 significant descents in this race.  That said, I'm going to push it (a little bit--I'll seem slow but I want to get out there at the edge of what I'm comfortable with--I'm going to confront my fear, a bit.  I'm not going to go crazy but I'm going to trust my preparation and skill.)

-I have confidence in myself and my preparation.  I have done 136 triathlons to date and a bunch of gnarly bike rides (including RAAM) so I know that I have in the past and I will on Sunday make it work.  I can do this and I'm going to get behind the positive mental momentum that comes with confronting what you fear and knowing you can overcome....

-Of course, I'm racing too and I want to get to Kona.  But hear this, it's all secondary at this point to being safe, to finishing, and to feeling good about what I do over those many hours come sunday.  I'm comfortable that I'm prepared for that and I'm optimistic I can do it--and I'm going to bring that optimism to eveything I think and do until I cross that finish line on Sunday night (probably pretty late--lol!!!!)....

More on the racing and the Kona thing later....

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