Integrity

so, as part of my whole emphasis on honoring my father this year--through my life and activities, I've been thinking about integrity and being truly authentic. (About not caring so much what others think, but really being able to stand proud in front of myself--when I am my harshest critic)

Upon a lot of careful consideration I have concluded that while I certainly lack in natural talent--triathlon-wise, I have to be given props for my level of effort and indeed my integrity. I love triathlon and I really try hard to do the best I can--most days (not all--but most) I really push myself physically and mentally. In my view, I'm a pretty pure triathlete.

so, all good as far as that goes.

Still, it would be much better to bring the same rigor to the rest of my life.

I'm not a bad guy by any means, but I know I could bring it--better--in the rest of my life and if I wanted to live up to my potential--and frankly, to the standards of my triathlon training...I have quite a fair ways to go for sure....

so, I'm thinking about trying to do more of the following--which i think make me a better person and a better citizen....

1. I'm going to really focus on being very polite--to everybody, all the time--getting in cabs or subways, holding doors--I'm pretty good at this already but I always want (from now on) to be the really polite guy....after you my brother!

2. I want to really spend a lof of effort when I'm with other people, focusing on how they view the world and how they can bring something important to the world. And I want to try to help them do so (this will be hard for me).

3. I want to be much more rigorous at monitoring my mind's internal dialogue and honestly admit (to myself) when I have biases or a shortcoming and try to correct for these flaws. this is the virtue of equipose.

4. I want to be more sympathetic--and I need to be. Nuff said.

5. I want to strive to seek "Limerence". I want to be less focused on success and recognition (the conscious mind stuff) and more focused on transcendence--being lost in the love of another, the challenge of the task, the love of God...these are the hungers of the unconscious mind--I need to get a bit more unconscious--and less logical (at times)

6. I want to assume possitive intent more frequently--but not more frequently than is warranted--in my experience, there are indeed some people out to get me....

a good list to start on in this 2011 year of honoring my father....